


i'm selfish, i'm obscene

by knox (booyouwhoran)



Series: i'm selfish, i'm obscene [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hux and Phasma are bros, M/M, Modern AU, also no one is evil, also roller derby, because this is who I am now, sorry Mum, this is a gratuitous diner AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 15:13:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6084456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booyouwhoran/pseuds/knox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’ll have the, uh, Chewy Special, thanks,” Hux glanced down at the tall guy’s name tag, “Ben.”<br/>“It’s Kylo Ren”<br/>“What?”<br/>“My name. It’s not Ben. It’s Kylo Ren.”<br/>“Are you sure? Because your name tag just looks like you’ve scratched a B into a little R”</p><p>*************************<br/>Or, the one where The Millenium Falcon is Han’s retro diner where Kylo Ren and his adopted cousin Rey work during the holidays.<br/>Hux has no idea why Phasma has brought him here.<br/>(Also, roller derby)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm selfish, i'm obscene

**Author's Note:**

> Someone call the garbage man bc I am TRASH.  
> Also, I know literally nothing about roller derby and I am so very sorry.
> 
> Title is from 'Genghis Khan' by Miike Snow, aka the ultimate kylux song.

“I can’t believe this is where you’re taking me,” Hux whined as Phasma pulled into the carpark of a dodgy looking 50’s diner. The neon sign declaring the place as ‘The Millenium Falcon’ did nothing to brighten Hux’s mood, and if he was pouting a little, well, Phasma deserved it for dragging him to this dump. She elbowed him before clambering out of her car, roller skates swinging over her shoulder. Her roller derby team, ‘The First Order’, had just qualified for the Grand Finals and as her best friend, Hux was forced to celebrate with her. While he couldn’t escape a night of potential cardiac arrest and depressing neon lighting, he could at least make his displeasure known. Phasma held the door open for him and he rolled his eyes at her, tugging down the hem of his sweater (which she had insisted that he wear to her game because, in her words, it was his only ‘cool’ item of clothing).

Behind the counter stood a slender brunette with her hair tied back into three buns, resolutely flipping burgers. Next to her, behind the cashier, was a tall man who looked like a reject from a My Chemical Romance album cover. A handsome reject, Hux’s brain helpfully supplied, and he internally scowled at himself. For Christ’s sake, the guy was wearing black nail polish! He looked around for Phasma, only to see her heading towards the women’s bathroom. Resolutely, he perched on one of the stools by the counter, grabbing a plastic menu covered in what he sincerely hoped was ranch and ignoring the, admittedly very attractive but so not Hux’s type cashier. He decided on a meal that sounded the least likely to shut down his arteries, and figured he may as well order. The less time he had to spend in this dump, the better.

“I’ll have the Chewy Special thanks, uh,” Hux glanced down at the tall guy’s name tag, “Ben.”  
“It’s Kylo Ren”  
“What?”  
“My name. It’s not Ben. It’s Kylo Ren.”  
“Are you sure? Because your name tag just looks like you’ve scratched a B into a little R”  
Before Ben – Ren, whatever, could reply, the brunette behind the counter snorted out a laugh, clapping her hand over her mouth when he shot her a murderous glare.

“Shut up Rey!”

The waitress (Rey, Hux presumed), laughed again to herself as Phasma swung her athletic frame onto one of the ridiculous red stools. It would have been a comical sight, however very few people dared to laugh at Phasma. She was staring Rey as if trying to place her.  
“Rey Antilles-Skywalker? Captain of the Resistance?”  
“Captain Phasma!? Wow, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Rey offered her hand and the two women shook, sizing each other up subtly. Hux looked up at Ren, who appeared as confused by this interaction as himself. Phasma nudged him, evidently frustrated that he hadn’t made the apparently obvious connection. The other girl took pity on Hux and Ren’s matching bewildered expressions.  
“Phasma and I are both the captains of our roller derby teams. It looks like we’re vying for first place in the Grand Final this year.”

  
Hux had completely forgotten about Phasma venting to him about a new team, the Resistance, who’d been steadily climbing up the leaderboards. To make matters worse, one of her best blockers, Finn, nicknamed ‘Stormtrooper’ had decided to change teams. Phasma cited their creepy manager Snoke as the problem.  
Instead of getting into an all out fight, however, Rey and Phasma were now chatting amicably, Phasma complaining to Rey about Snoke’s latest dumb management plan.  
A large plate of fries and a burger were slammed unceremoniously in front of Hux with entirely more force than necessary. He started a little in his vinyl seat and Ren smirked. A low-seated sense of irritation unfurled in Hux’s stomach as he stabbed a greasy fry, dipping it in ketchup. He took a delicate bite, unused to eating junk. Hux Sr and his mother were definitely not spontaneous fast food people. In fact, Hux thought as he chewed, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten like this. Maybe on a school trip, or after a late night studying binge, though he was more prone to forgetting to eat all together than indulging in this stuff. He gradually became aware of Ren staring at him, dark eyes peering as though he could read Hux’s thoughts. The idea made him shiver as he trained his features into a frown.

“Is there any reason you’re staring at me like a possessed death metal singer?”

The other man at least had the decency to glance down, and Hux swore he saw a faint blush creep across his cheeks. He told himself it wasn’t endearing, that it wasn’t exactly the shade of red that would compliment his bed sheets so nicely.

  
“You have a, uh. Ketchup. On your face.”

  
Now it was Hux’s turn to blush, feeling the tips of his ears turn red as he scrubbed a hand over his face.  
“It’s still there, just let me” Ren brushed his fingers over the right corner of Hux’s mouth, fingers light as a ghost. Hux resolutely focused on Ren’s hair, which under closer observation was actually an inviting shade of dark brown, as opposed to the black he had first assumed. Well, at least he doesn’t dye his hair, Hux’s inner monologue supplied. A sharp cough from Phasma shook them both out of their reverie, Ren wiping his hands on his apron. Rey’s eyes lit up with barely restrained laughter as she untied her apron, flinging it back into the kitchen. “My shift’s over Ben, Phasma’s coming to skate with us for a bit. I’ll see if we can’t convince her to join the Resisitance.”

  
Hux directed imploring eyes at Phasma– she was the one who had dragged him to this godawful place with its greasy food and unfairly attractive waitstaff. She shrugged her broad shoulders apologetically, and followed Rey out of the front door, where a handsome man leaned against a battered pickup, arm swung around the guy Hux recognised as Finn. A small, fat corgi jumped excitedly up at Rey as the four of them climbed into the truck. A furtive glance around the diner told Hux that he was alone with Ren, who had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and begun washing dishes with his back to Hux’s, hair tied up in a bun revealing a small scatter of moles on the back of his neck.  
And  
Oh.  
Hux sank his teeth into his burger to try and stop the now vivid mental images of him sinking his teeth into something else.  
“So, is Hux your last name, or do your parents just really hate you?”  
“Wha-?” Hux swallowed around his (surprisingly good burger).  
“Are you serious? I mean, you’re trying to convince people your name is Kylo Ren. What even is that? Is that a World of Warcraft character or something?”

Ren’s shoulders tightened in annoyance, but he refused to take the bait. Hux smirked to himself, taking another bite of his burger. The other man had turned around, leaning against the sink, watching Hux with thinly veined curiosity. Hux sent up a silent prayer that he didn’t have sauce on his face again.  
“You look like you’ve never eaten a burger before.”  
Ren’s tone held an air of contempt, as if Hux were some sort of child.  
“Yes, well, I do plan on living past the age of thirty,” he retorted sharply. Again, Ren didn’t reply, continuing to stare at Hux.  
“If all you do is scowl at people while they eat it’s no wonder you have no customers.”  
Ren’s scowl deepened further, contorting his face into what looked like, in Hux’s opinion, a constipated pug. He chuckled to himself at the thought. Surprisingly, Ren took this as an invitation to start up an actual conversation.

‘So, what do you study?”

Hux raised his eyebrows, doubting that he would appreciate the intricacies of political science. However, he sighed and began to explain his degree. Perhaps even more surprisingly, Ren actually looked interested, occasionally interrupting with questions. It was only after Hux was part way through explaining the inherent flaws of capitalism, plate of now cold fries pushed to the side, that he became aware of how long he had been talking.  
“What about you? Are you going to manage this place?”  
Ren’s previously unguarded, interested face slipped into its earlier grimace. Hux was surprisingly disappointed by the change, a feeling he chose to ignore.  
“My Dad wants me to. The Falcon is kind of his dream. He set it up with my uncle Chewy. But I don’t like business, I actually…” he broke off, long fingers running through his now untied hair. “I actually want to major in theatre. I want to be an actor,” he exhaled in a rush, as if unburdening a secret. It was now Hux’s turn to wait in silence for an explanation.

“My mom is a surgeon, and I know they both want me to do something practical, but I want to go into the Arts,” he sighed. “It’s like I’m being torn apart.”

Hux spoke up, surprising himself. “My family wanted me to go into law. My Dad – my whole family, actually, are defence lawyers. It’s kind of the family business. They think polisci is the wishy washy younger sibling of law.”  
The two men exchanged a look of mutual understanding, with an underlying current of something warm that Hux didn’t particularly feel like applying a name to. Glancing down at his watch, he realised just how late it was. “Shite! I have to get back home. What time does this place close?”  
Ren smiled at him, easy and open, replacing his sombre expression with a sort of humour that Hux really shouldn’t have been attracted to.

“Honestly? An hour ago.”

Hux was fumbling in his wallet for his card when he felt an elegant hand on top of his. He glanced up to see Ren smiling at him.  
“How about you pay me by letting me take you out for dinner instead?”  
Hux raised his eyebrow.  
“That’s really not how logic works.”  
Ren’s smile faltered slightly.  
“But,” Hux continued, “I’ll take you up on it.”  
He hastily scrawled his number on a dollar bill and shoved it in the tip jar. There was a slight swing in his step as he left the diner. He seriously owed Phasma one. Maybe going to the Grand Final wouldn’t be such a drag. Especially, he thought, if Rey brought her cousin. He felt his phone buzz with a new text message, and if he grinned a little to himself, well, that was nobody else’s business.


End file.
